Instagram vs Snapchat. One of my very bestest friends is an avid snapper, and I was trying to put my finger on why I don't snap now but I am all over insta like a ... a ... well, someone who posts a lot on insta.
I do post a lot, especially lately. I mean, I don't know what a LOT a lot is, but I post two or three times a day most days. Is that a lot (she asks as if she wants reassurance but she really doesn't)?
I guess I think of insta like a diary. Facebook used to be a diary. For example, six years ago today on Facebook I posted the status 'iPad, check. Toothbrush, check. Camera... SHIT.' Obviously I was going somewhere (sailing I think), and I forgot my camera! That's a fun tiny blurb, yes? No? Yes. But Facebook is mostly for pictures and sharing political links now (and it's dead, right? Let's all agree. It's basically dead. Our grandparents are on it and we are parents of people who are also on it. It's Main St USA and no one actually thinks it's cool to be on Main St.)
The thing about Instagram is: it stays and pictures are unambiguous. Filtered, yes, but if you were with someone or not with someone or home or in Portland, that's permanently represented.
The thing about Snapchat is: it goes away.
I get the appeal of that, but I also feel like it's part of the issue about space women are constantly struggling with. When you snap, you're putting something into the world that says 'heeeeeyyyy guys here's a thing if you wanna look at it but if you don't don't worry it'll be gone pretty soon so don't worry about it if you don't want to 'cause .... yeah anyway thanks byyyeeee'.
I could be wrong. It could (always) be my personal awareness of taking up space in the world. I'm a woman who, despite her best intentions, worries endlessly about the effect my very presence has on other people. Am I too loud? Is my skirt too distracting? Am I talking more than I should? Does my new tree bug my neighbors? Does my new shampoo smell? It's tiring, and Snapchat is a relaxing way to show people things. It's easy to think 'oh no one has to see this if they don't want to'. However, by that same measure, Snapchat doesn't tell any kind of story about you or your life.
So Instagram. Insta is the diary-est of all the available diaries.
(Excepting a blog but WHO BLOGS ANYMORE?)
So, Instagram. People can opt into you without you doing the same and vice versa. Everyone loves a sunset and dogs and yoga, which makes it feel like a wonderful place to *also* love all those things. You're easy to scroll over, but also anyone who cares can roll back through months or years of what you've been up to, and you can too.
None of this touches on the overwhelming desire to share in the first place, of course. I'm always aware of what the perception of my pictures might be, and I'm open to it. This blog is over a decade old - I'm a committed sharer and the reasons are between my and my psyche.
I just ... want to leave a mark.
God I'm old.
But still cute. You can confirm on my insta.