Colorado. Runner. Yogi. Fucking hilarious, like, 17% of the time.

why you stupid ... I mean golly you're cute

Every so often I think 'hmm, I should work on my brain'. Because I have this idea that you can make your brain better by doing ... exercises, like you can your muscles, right? Does the former statement imply that I do exercises for my muscles? Because if so who am I to disabuse you of that notion? Nobody. I'm nobody who should counteract the implication that I regularly work out.

See, it's sentences like that and moments like Coastie excitedly showing me an RFID key finder thingie because even my coworkers know I can't keep track of those dumb pokey metal things that make me think maybe brain exercises are a thing I should do.

Did I tell you guys about the key thing from the apartment?? I don't think I did! Ok, here's what happened. (Live. On BRAVO. I'm in a weird mood tonight.)

The story. I moved last April and the complex was like here's two keys and a little plastic beep-y thing that gets you into the pool and the weight room, and I was like awesome thanks. So I put one of the keys and the beep-y thing on one of those detachable key ring things on my main key ring, so I could take just something tiny with me to exercise.

Again, in case it was not clear, I do not lift weights for my muscles. However, my keychain was more than adequately prepared in case I chose to do so.

About a month before I moved, I lost the attachment thingie. I had another apartment key so I wasn't totally out of luck, but I knew I was going to get charged for the beep-y thing and I looked FUCKING EVERYWHERE. Primarily in the bowl that I've been using for keys since buying my townhouse in 2007, but also in the pockets of every jacket I have, in every bag and purse, on the floor, in drawers, every square inch of my car, and then in the bowl again. And then in the bowl again, then pockets/bowl/purses/bowl/floors/car/bowl/etc. You get the point.

When I turned in my keys after cleaning the apartment (with help from my gorgeous and generous and youthful mother), I told them what happened. "I just can't find it. I'm sure it's in a box now, somewhere," I told the woman in the office.


I'm very close to positive that she thought I was keeping it on purpose. Like, I thought I could get away with sneaking into the gym with it? I don't know. As previously established, I didn't use the damn gym even when it WAS allowed.

I did not appreciate the smirk.

At the end of December, I was grabbing my house keys out of the key bowl, and ... the beep-y thing fell out.

I don't even know what to say. I took every single thing out of that bowl more than once. See the amount of times I wrote 'bowl' when I was listing where I looked? I took everything out of the bowl, individually, MORE times than I wrote the damn word.

I returned the beep-y thing and wasn't charged for it, but I'm still irritated by the mystery. Did someone find it and put it in the bowl? Is my prankster ghost back?

Do I just need to do more mental exercises??

yes privilege I know

anthony loved MY spicy shrimp stew