Colorado. Runner. Yogi. Fucking hilarious, like, 17% of the time.

I'd believe cartoon birds braided your hair this morning

Last night I was coming home and all the spots in front of my building were taken. I have a garage that's actually also basically right in front of the building, that I almost never park in because it's skinny and a gigantic pain in the ass. I have my bike and a desk in there and while technically my car can be wedged in, it MUST go in at a 90 degree angle and it must happen slowly with the occasional wiggle for  a mirror or something.

This is relevant, because in FRONT of the taken spots, a fellow was loading his car. That took what is normally a two-car width passage in front of the garage down by ... well, one car width. He wasn't directly in front of my garage, but he made it necessary for me to swing in before I swung out and I should have waited but.

I didn't.

I'm not sure if you would consider the rear bumper of my car or the wood frame of the garage the loser in the interaction between the two, but if you include me? I am definitely the loser. The car is basically fine except for that big ass plastic part that's no longer attached on one end. The garage is about to be repainted and I'm sure that will cover (or at least minimize? I hope?) proof of my sin.

Whereas I have a quote for $770 dollars in my hot sweaty little hand.

Couple of issues. 1) BUYING A HOUSE CAN'T AFFORD IT. 2) Even if I could afford it, can you think of something MORE boring to spend that much money on? If the car wasn't working I could just be like 'well it has to be done', but with this, it looks like something that could be fixed with a liberal application of duct tape and some prayer. $770 buys a lot of duct tape.

Moral? Should there be a moral? The moral is that I should have waited for that perfectly innocent fellow to move his car, but who am I kidding, that was never going to happen. There is no reality in which I would patiently sit in a car for minutes on end while my dogs were upstairs and the radio was probably playing something dumb. The other moral is ... everything sucks, my tiny garage can eat a dick.


here there be Guardians of the Galaxy spoilers

take off Tuesday