Colorado. Runner. Yogi. Fucking hilarious, like, 17% of the time.

literal money literal mouth

The company that gave me the great mortgage that is allowing me to buy my new house is one of the 100 companies that are currently suing the government about the contraception mandate.  The family that owns the company said "the mandate, which would require them to provide employees with coverage for birth control, would violate their religious beliefs." I am very very unhappy about that for several reasons, the first of which is that WOMEN ARE GODDAMN PEOPLE who have SEX and don't need to be allowed to do so, they just can. Without worrying about having babies. I don't care of it's monthly or morning after.

The second of which is that this is going to suck for me.

First, let's be clear: I'm being a tiny bit dramatic about how much the broker choice affects me. The builder of my new house lets me choose whatever broker I want, but they offered a bonus thing if I chose one of the two they parter with. A five thousand dollar bonus. I don't NEED that five thousand dollars in that I literally can't buy the house without it, but I do kind of need in in that it doesn't make as much (*cough* little - because let's be honest this is an unreasonable purchase all around) financial sense for me to buy the house without it.

So I originally had the choice between two mortgage companies that would allow for the bonus thing. I called them both and one guy seemed sleezy and kind of disinterested and sent me two quotes and was like ok let's do this. The other asked what was important to me and whether I wanted to focus on a lower down payment or lower monthly payment and suggested a way to use the bonus money to sort of pre-buy some of my debt in a way that's not quite a down payment and made a huge difference, so I went with that guy, obviously.

That guy is the guy that works for the anti-woman company.

I want my mortgage from the nice guy. He's not an owner or a shareholder or anything. I don't want to email him and tell him that he's not in fact going to make any money off of me because I don't agree with his company's social policy.

I don't want to email the nice guy's boss to tell her or him why I left.

I don't want to email my builder to tell them that one of their partner companies is problematic. I don't even know if I should, but if several people do maybe they'll say something to the mortgage company.

I want to just shut up and acknowledge that none of these things are going to make a difference. I want to take my nice mortgage and keep thinking about and getting angry about and sometimes writing about feminist things.

OBVIOUSLY I am going to do all of the things I said I don't want to do, because I hate feeling guilty and I love feeling righteous. I already emailed the crappy guy to say hey this is what the nice guy did (not in those exact words) can you possibly do the exact same thing? He was crappy about it (shocker) and said (not in these exact words) that he already wrote me off and would need to reactivate my something something and get back to me.

I think that none of these things make me a good feminist, and I feel awful about them before I've even done them! But not as awful as I'd feel if I didn't do them.

I can't even tell where I am with this. I can't tell if I'm doing the right thing or if I should be canceling my contract for the house and holding a sign outside the mortgage office. It's a mess.

I'm really mad at my mortgage company.

ask me about my IUD!

the worst way to waste a lip balm