Colorado. Runner. Yogi. Fucking hilarious, like, 17% of the time.

Maida isn't particularly old. I sometimes have to remind myself of that, because of all of the old ladydog problems she has.

  • She has nine teeth. (That is a true statement. The others all fell out or were removed.)
  • She's epileptic and takes four medications twice a day. I have one of those pill containers for her that has a little snap for each time of day/day of week thing just to keep track.
  • When she shakes herself off sometimes she does it too hard and falls over.
  • Her number one place to lay is on a person. I assume that's because she hates laying on hard things, because she's not picky about the person.
  • She has mild hip dysplasia and sometimes skips when she walks.
  • She occasionally inhales her own drool and then does this sort of reverse-sneeze gasping-for-breath thing for minutes at a time. Every time I think she's going to die and every time she moves past it and forgets about it thirty seconds later.

Does it sound like I'm describing a six year old dog? No, right? It sounds like she's right up there with my friend's dog who is blind and deaf and has an ongoing case of mild pneumonia. Of course, that dog is fourteen.

Anyway, the point of the above list is as an introduction to something I recently purchased that might seem ridiculous if you were thinking she was a regular six year old dog. If you think of her as a fourteen year old dog trapped in a six year old dog's timeline, it makes more sense. Or maybe as a six year old dog who was really poorly designed. She's the lemon of the dog world.

Oh, also she doesn't really like to walk and realllly doesn't like to walk when it's hot. Her legs are three inches long and her nose barely exists, so I can't really blame her.

Ok. So the thing I bought:


It's a bag/sling thing designed especially for carrying small dogs.

LOOK AT HER. She's half asleep.

The pros are that Agnes and I can walk at a normal speed without leaving Maida at home, and Maida can get down for the occasional path party or what have you.

The cons are that I am now a person that walks my dog in a purse.


god just get something to say already

go sports go!