Colorado. Runner. Yogi. Fucking hilarious, like, 17% of the time.

have I already used 'I'm so excited I'm so excited I'm so scared'?

Today I got to go to the design center for my house.  


The design center is a 6000 square foot fancy pants room that houses all of the things that I can put into my house. Wood floors, carpets, tile floors, bathroom walls, kitchen cabinets, tech center counters, bathroom counters, kitchen counters... Yeah. Everything.


I sent this picture to my family with the note 'not overwhelming at all' cause I'm a funny funny liar.


I had basically the most fun I've had in forever. My designer Halsey (real name, awesome) was a woman about my age and was just super duper patient and helpful. (The salesperson for the houses is also a woman about my age, and is also super duper patient and helpful. I wonder if I would be as invested in this process if one of the people involved was a cranky crappy person.) Halsey said I was having more fun than anyone she'd ever worked with, which made me laugh and clap because that's how the design center made me feel. Like laughing and clapping.




Halsey had an order for decision making in mind, but I told her that my priority was floors, kitchen, master bath, upstairs guest bath, and then everything else, so we went in that order. She's the designer for the whole neighborhood, it turns out, so she was able to speak to what other people were doing which was really cool. Like, 'you'll be the only person with these floors so far' kind of thing. I am not currently the only person with anything, but whatever. Things will be different inside because I am a different person and that's how things work. I'm glad I was able to explain that to you.

So I started with wood for the main floor. Sorry. *Cough*. Engineered pre-finished wood. See, it's real wood all the way through but it's only solid hardwood for the very top part, like 1/8 - 1/4 of an inch. You can't refinish it endlessly like you can solid hardwood, but it's cheaper and just as real on top, so ... suck it.

I was completely committed to the top sample for the first hour of the design. I built a whole kitchen around it, and then we moved onto the bathroom and everything looked so ... BROWN. So we scratched that and moved on to the darker floor.


It's very pretty.


It's five inch hammered hickory. Yeah. Hammered hickory. (House name??) That means it's all banged up. I pay extra for ripped jeans so you know I'm going to love that.

The tile on the bottom left is the Formica (Buffed Aluminum) that didn't photograph very well, but it's going to be the back part of the kitchen.




This, unless I decide to not be broke, is going to be the front part of the kitchen.

I didn't think I had any interest in granite, honestly, but it just feels so ... granitey. I mean, it's cool and solid and heavy and just more beautiful than you can imagine by looking at it in this picture.

Wait, by 'cool' I meant literally cool, not like sunglasses on a dog cool. It's chilly. It's glacial. It's perfect for rolling out pie dough. Cool.


The boring stuff.


This is for the upstairs guest bathroom. Whatever. I didn't want to pay for any upgrades so this is going to be the only vinyl in the house.


I feel kind of bad about that now.

Maybe it should be a vinyl free house.

Anyway, vinyl is in back, shower tile is on the bottom (it will be bricked, i.e. each row will be offset 50% from the row below), Formica counter is in the middle, and grout for the shower is the thin thing up on top. Flowery shower curtain and neon bathmat, y'all.


If I were on Cribs I would be like 'this will be adjacent to where the magic will happen y'all'.


For the non main floor flooring, I chose the grey carpet you see in back (and upgraded the padding cause the internet told me to).

Then for the master bath, we have the big tile in back - brushed porcelain in a color called steel (cause I'm a motherfucking badass obviously), subway tiles that will be horizontal and bricked in 'artic white' (significantly less badass, I know), a little leany thing that represents grout color in 'winter white' (I will forever think of this as the Song of Ice and Fire shower), and this Formica counter in a pattern that totally photographs as straight up black so whatever, let's just call it black.


So, this is what the inside of my house that is currently a hole in the ground will look like. Unless I change my mind. Which I could. Crockett called my choices 'manly' which I take exception to because what I think he means is cool (AGAIN, not sunglasses on a dog cool. In this case I mean blue undertones cool) and that's very much a pink/blue gender dichotomy that we've all internalized. In truth I just hate brown. A lot. And everything natural that isn't grey is brown, so, there you go. It's feminine because I'm a woman and I picked it.




go sports go!

that feeling, you can only say what it is in French