So a friend of mine at work is maybe maybe-not going through a divorce. It's a long marriage, the one in question, and at heart of the possible divorce is not adultery or psychosis but a lack of communication. We were talking about it, and my friend said, "I almost wish that during a fight something terrible would just come out. That one of us would say something totally unforgivable." That's a strange but wildly relatable attitude, right? Maybe I'm generalizing. I do tend to do that. It makes sense to me, though. The desire to just burn the bridge. To stop working towards what has become, at best, that thing you always know you had to work for. As adults, right now, we have this idea that working for things is right and good, and I don't disagree. Nothing is easy all the time, right? But isn't there beauty in that ribbon-cutting-scar-forming-attachment-ending statement? Something we can point back to and say 'yep, that's what did it. That's what made moving forward impossible.' Something that let you let go. Mourn and move on.
My best friend has been married for nearly a decade (perhaps an actual decade - I remember a summer wedding though and it's not summer yet so I think I have a month or two to spare). When she was married, one of her grandparents took her aside to warn her about the difficulty of marriage.
The anecdote that grandparent told has very likely grown in my mind.
The way I now remember it, her grandmother told my friend that the grandmother and grandfather had gone through some rough times. One of which was THE SIXTIES.
A ROUGH DECADE, and they stayed married. I bet several (more than several) unforgivable things were said in that decade, and yet they were forgiven.
My anecdote of choice makes me sound like a wuss. Good job, Emma.