Colorado. Runner. Yogi. Fucking hilarious, like, 17% of the time.

ok, have some damn candy

A couple of weeks ago I bought an enormous bag of pretzel M&Ms from Target while I was on a lunchtime shopping trip with my coworker.

Then I opened the bag and left it on my desk.

The thing is, I don't really eat chocolate while I'm at work. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE the stuff, obviously, especially when mixed with salty delicious pretzels. BUT - my chocolate desire tends to kick in a little later in the day. Like, right when I get home from work. I suspect that's because we go like three hours between breakfast and lunch and are then expected to go like seven between lunch and dinner, but since I have the power to make snacks for myself, I should probably stop whining about that.  It is dumb, though. Lunch should really be at like 2:30 to make sense, temporally.

The point is, I'm not really eating these M&Ms and the bag is open in the corner of my cubicle.

And people keep coming in to eat it.

Which is fine. If I didn't want people to eat it, why would I have it open on the corner of my desk? That would be dumb. Except? I really don't like it when people come into my cubicle. I've worked very hard to make it a cozy home away from home. I have sweatshirts, and plants, and a rug (no, really), and a tissue box with a pig face on it. I have hairties and deodorant and a picture my dad took of  a shut down diner and a paper delivery boy decades ago. I have pictures of Crockett and Star. I have, oddly, a cutting board.

Having people from work come into my cubicle really steals the homey feeling I've been going for, here.

So why don't I just put the candy somewhere else and let people have at it? Good idea!

Except then I wouldn't get credit for being generous with my candy, which is very important to me. I bought them, damnit, and I want people to be like 'oh that Emma sure is cool' while they happily munch on their handful of sweet and salty goodness.

Who knew M&Ms could be this much trouble.

oh jason