Colorado. Runner. Yogi. Fucking hilarious, like, 17% of the time.

When I found out we were getting an IKEA in Denver, I was super excited. I'm not really sure why.

IKEA is like Trader Joe's. If you don't have one around you, you somehow think that you're missing the coolest thing in the country. You think that everyone else has access to nifty deals that you don't. You're clearly overpaying for subpar goods, your brain insists. I'm just not entirely sure that's true.

Don't get me wrong. I LOVE Trader Joe's. I would give up a toe to have a TJ's close enough to be my regular grocery store. Microwavable Thai Lime Rice and Green Curry Tuna? Yes please.

I haven't been to the IKEA yet, but I'm not entirely sure what I'll be looking for when and if I do go. I sort of wanted to go the day it opened, because I love a good fanfare, but Crockett talked me out of it. Fortunately no one died (like those poor people in Saudi Arabia), but there was a pile up due to traffic that sent a girl to the hospital. Now that it's calmed down, though?

What should I go look for? What is IKEA's version of Thai Lime Rice?

sorry about that, Brian