Colorado. Runner. Yogi. Fucking hilarious, like, 17% of the time.

summer camp

Ahh, the joys of summer. When I was in middle school, my friend Lacey and I were listening to the radio this one time. (We listened to the radio more than one time, but you know what I mean. Right? One specific time we were listening to the radio and that's when this story happened. Yeah.)

On the radio, that one time, there was an ad for Trojan condoms, followed immediately by an ad that started out with some dude saying 'ahhh, the sounds of summer'. His 'ahhh' was.... well, let's just say it - orgasmic.

We, being like 14, thought that was the funniest thing we'd ever heard.

AHAHAHAHAH, we thought. Did the people who scheduled ads not have any idea how full of hilarity that was?

Now, of course, there are entire Tumblrs devoted to things like unfortunately adjacent billboards*.

Anyway - I was at summer camp in western New York last week. Adult summer camp. (Really Crockett and I were just visiting his family and friends, but there was a definite summer camp air to the whole thing.)

  • Social hour - did you know bars around Buffalo stay open until 4? 4 am? AM AS IN IN-THE-MORNING? (Interestingly, the trade off here seems to be that you can drink later but your beer choices are limited to Labatt and your wine choices are limited to things that come in single serving screw top bottles.)
  • Sightseeing - I've decided the Great Lakes are some kind of gigantic practical joke. After seeing Erie (from the road), Superior (from a plane), and Ontario (from shore and from a catamaran), I now believe that 'great' was someone being funny. Like calling Iceland ... well, Iceland. Someone thought to themselves, "what should we call these motherfucking enormous mini-oceans? How about the North American Freshwater Seas? Nah... let's just call 'em 'great'. That'll be hilarious. Silly girls from Colorado will stare like open-mouth yokels when they see how big these things are."
  • Arts and crafts - I made a purse with Crockett's mom.
  • Games - Crockett's childhood friends kicked my ass at Foosball. And Cornhole. Oh, and Flip Cup. And life, basically. I blame it on the humidity. And the beer.
  • Food - 17 barbecues. A cupcake competition (which I didn't enter, due to .... lameness on my part, I suppose.)

Now I'm back home, and I'm distinctly lacking in scheduled fun. I do have a lot of laundry to do. And a lot of work to do.

Is 'adult-summer-camp counselor' a job?

No, really.

* I could have sworn this was true, but now I can't find a single one. The one I'm thinking of has someone doing yoga next to something that looks like a fart. I know, sounds hilarious. I bet you're really sad I can't find it. Also, who knew you could see a fart?


Thing I noticed that you already probably knew