Colorado. Runner. Yogi. Fucking hilarious, like, 17% of the time.

and you were there, and you...

Last night I dreamt that one of my best friends was pregnant, and she took me with her to her OB-GYN appointment. (I don't know why). My friend didn't want to know the gender of her child, but I asked the OB if he could tell, and he said yes.

I said they should put a little black bar over the genitals on the ultrasound machine, so that he didn't know either, because he could accidentally give it away.

He said 'then what if something was wrong with him, like he had two penises?'

Then my friend realized she was having a boy and kicked me out of the room.

I'm not sure if it was because I accidentally tricked the OB into spilling the beans, or if it was because I accidentally made the OB talk about dual penises.

I also don't know if dual penises are a thing.

The stuff my mind throws away is pure gold.

an ode to television and laziness

equality (last week)