I have three very important things to tell you. Thing One.
We need to bring 'as if' back. I expect you all to help me with this.
I can't find a picture of Thing 2 on his own (her own?).
That's not thing two. Thing two is that some days I wake up mad. There's no rhyme or reason, and I spend the drive home on those days bitching to anyone who will listen. However, no one but my brother really knows exactly what to say.
I ended today by bitching to my brother.
It was awesome.
Thing Three (which may be mildly related to thing two)
I have a mild communication problem.
It goes thusly: I have something to say that involves the sayee being wrong. To be clear, the sayee is wrong. I'm a polite non-confrontational type person, though, so I either swallow what I have to say or try and frame my saying in a non-insulting way. For example, let's say that you and I were trying to schedule something. Let's say that I told you several times that said thing would take 30 minutes, and you said 'ok, that sounds great, I'll put it on the schedule for this big meeting that I'm in charge of'. Let's then say that when you sent out the agenda for said meeting, you gave me fifteen minutes. And when I asked, you said that you were pretty sure I said fifteen minutes. Here's what I do. I review all the emails we've exchanged - the emails in which I've specifically said half an hour at least three different times - and? I cave. I email you back and say 'oh, maybe I said that before I knew how long it was going to be'.
Obviously, the above is a true story. It's not the only story like this, though. Somehow I send out missives that I find clear as a bell, and in return I get weirdness. I asked my grant supervisor (via email) today for some help on a personel issue, and she promptly forwarded my email to the person I was having a problem with, along with a note requesting that we "talk" to each other.
Was I not clear?
This happens to me so frequently that I have to suspect that in fact, I was not.
Either that or I'm surrounded by morons.
Definitely one of those two things.