Colorado. Runner. Yogi. Fucking hilarious, like, 17% of the time.

we should all be glad I'm not in charge

Scene: last night, as we were falling asleep, Crockett tickled my armpit.

Me: That was MEAN!

Crockett: Sorry, I couldn't resist.

Me: Now I'm scared to fall asleep in case you do it again.

Crockett: I won't, I promise.

Me: You could totally make someone into an insomniac that way. Just tickle them every time they start to fall asleep. It's too bad that experiments like that never get conducted cause of the human testing rules. 'Join our study. If it works, you'll never sleep again!'

Crockett: Or, you know, the more lifesaving type experiments that ALSO don't get conducted because of the human testing rules.

Me: It must be hard to work for the FDA.

Crockett: Do they get involved with all human testing?

Me: I don't know, maybe they just publish rules you have to follow. Like, if nine out of ten people you give your new drug to die, don't give it to anyone else. Even if that tenth person becomes a super hero.

Crockett: <silence>

Me: Oh, unless the super hero's super power is to bring the other nine people back to life. In that case, give the whole world the drug immediately.

Crockett: Goodnight, babe.

Someone remind me of this if I ever apply for a job at the FDA.