Colorado. Runner. Yogi. Fucking hilarious, like, 17% of the time.

There but for the grace of some arbitrary planetary demigod

Mercury is in retrograde.

Don't EVEN pretend you don't know what that means.

Oh, you don't?

Just me then?

Ok, three (or sometimes four) times a year, Mercury LOOKS like it's going backwards. It's not, obviously - a planet doesn't just stop and then start swinging backwards. It's a perspective thing. I completely understand it... as long as you have absolutely no follow up questions.

Astrologically (not astronomically), Mercury in retrograde is bad for communication, since Mercury himself was the messenger. Therefore, during these periods, you should back burner anything that requires efficient communication skills.

Here's the thing. I get that three quarters of you don't believe in astrology (hi, fellow 25%!). I do. I had this friend in college, and we had the same birthday. Day, month, year, and time of day - identical.

  • We both skipped third grade.
  • We started our periods at the same age (an unexpectedly early age, not that common until all the milk hormones or outer space rays or whatever started making eight year olds have bigger boobs than me).
  • We had sex for the first time in the same month.
  • We ended up at our college after applying to, being accepted at, and planning on attending a different college.
  • We met because our boyfriends were best friends.

You may be thinking 'well hell, Em, you could find that level of similarity with anyone if you went deep enough'. That may be true, but what I have listed above are merely a textual representation of the basic fact that we were sort of ... the same. We were more the same than anyone else I'd met before and after. We got excited about the same things, and mad about the same things, and laughed hilariously at the same stupid bullshit. We weren't the same on the outside, and the older we get the more our lives diverge (she is now married to a very nice British man and lives outside London), but we were just sort of ... the same.

Her mom was a rabbi and she visited her very stable dad and stepmom. Her older brother, if I recall correctly, was super protective, kind of a screw up, and also may have been in trouble with the law at some point. She moved around California all the time, following her mom's job.

I grew up 5 miles from where I type this. We moved once, to the mountains, and stayed there. My parents were always married. My younger brother is pretty much better than me at everything and never really did anything wrong.

Our only similarity, aside from our basic white girl-ness, was our birthday.

So. Until the 27th, you might want to keep things that require clear communication on the back burner. If you don't believe is astrology, do it because I said so. That's as good a reason as any.

An open letter to Tim S Roth

hee hee