Colorado. Runner. Yogi. Fucking hilarious, like, 17% of the time.


Tonight I'm speaking in front of 1300(ish) people. If I die of blushing (which is totally a thing, you know) it was so nice knowing you all.

I'll miss you.


Did you know that no one really cares about you and what you're doing and what you're wearing and what you say as much as you suspect they do?

Think about it. Even if, like me, you're totally a judgey-mc-judgerson, you can't conceivably judge everyone around you at all times. Sure, when I walk into a bar there may be one girl who is wearing a wallet that looks like a holster, and I may judge her. ( I did see a girl who was wearing a double holster wallet, and I DID judge her.) However, even I can't judge everyone. I have my own shit to worry about.

So really, what are the chances that you're that one person in any room that everyone will notice? If you want to be, I'm sure you can make it happen, but otherwise, people are probably ignoring you the same way you're ignoring them.

Of course, this logic breaks down a smidge when you get up in FRONT of people and start talking. Then they sort of HAVE to look at you.

But probably they still don't judge.


this sounds like a movie pitch

beautiful mind