Colorado. Runner. Yogi. Fucking hilarious, like, 17% of the time.

Can we speak about swimsuits for a moment?

There is no item of clothing more polarizing than a swimsuit. When you find a suit that makes you feel good, and comfortable, and attractive, you're chillin' like ice cream fillin'*. For whatever reason, looking good in your swimsuit is better than looking good naked. Maybe because when you're naked you're (mostly) with people you love. Maybe because there are so many more pictures of people in swimsuits than there are of people naked (in the non-porny type media, that is) to compare yourself too.

Maybe just because we female American types love to find ways to make ourselves feel bad.

Who knows.

That being said, I ended up taking up three suits on my trip.

Suit 1) Strapless black one piece, single stripe across my ribcage.

I bought it last summer (at Target yay!) because it had that retro vibe that I so enjoy and also itwasonsale which, ya know, is my favorite thing and absolutely needs to be a word of it's own.

I rarely wear it because as a small girl, I need to be lengthened and this suit does the opposite. Crockett repeatedly assured me that it emphasizes my "curves". Curves. Ha.

2) My ModCloth suit, particularly purchased for this trip.

While I'm sure there are pictures of me in it, there are none on my camera. Shucks.

It's a polka dot two piece, with possibly the single most flattering top I have ever worn and an... acceptable... bottom. Those skirt bottoms make your thighs look big and pale in a matter that seems to be unrelated to how big and  pale your thighs actually are. The suit is charming as all hell and my favorite, but perhaps more in my head than in real life, if that makes sense.

3) This throwaway brown and pink string bikini I bought several years ago and put in my bag as a last minute addition.

It was Crockett's favorite.

There are quite a few pictures of me in it. They're all on his camera, which is currently in Buffalo with him.

Finally, after all the snorkeling, I bought a technical suit so I could swim at the rec center here without exposing myself to the high school boys who lifeguard. Because trust me, they're watching for it. I've seen them.

This one.

I wear a size 8 in this suit.

8.

My height and weight are not conducive to an eight, people. I have five extra pounds as far as I'm concerned, but they're the five pounds that take me from a 00 to a 0. Not because I'm super thin, but because I'm five damn feet tall and small boned and there ya go.

I've written about the difficulty of finding swimsuits when you're plus-sized before, but REALLY? If I'm a zero normally and an 8 in technical suits, what is a woman who is not part of a seriously petite lineage supposed to do? If you wear, say, a 16 in day clothes, are you supposed to skip technical suits all together?

Dumb.

In summary, swimsuits are fun but sometimes? Too much hassle. We should all swim naked.

Amen.

29 and counting

this one time?