Colorado. Runner. Yogi. Fucking hilarious, like, 17% of the time.

no, no, no, no, YES, no

This one time? I wrote a Fuckit list? The whole point was to list the shit I am never going to do, thereby enabling myself to make decisions much more quickly.  Witness:

Emma, would you like to go to Japan without Crockett's high school swim coach?

No, thank you.

Emma, would you like to see pictures of high school Crockett in his swimsuit?

Why, yes, yes I would. Thank you for asking and send them over toot suite.

Recently I've become aware that people who aren't Michael Ian Black also embrace making decisions by ruling things out.  The two examples I was able to track down again are specifically for fashion, but I did see it elsewhere, I SWEAR.

Last time I went shopping I told my husband that I was so glad I wasn't skinny because then I would have too many options and would be in the stores forever.

-April Flores

...I wear none of the following: high necklines and turtlenecks; bulky knits; large prints; long skirts; flats; anything floaty, bohemian, or hippie-inspired; anything shapeless, babydoll, straight or Mod; double-breasted coats and jackets; and the colors red, orange, yellow, black and white.

Now, if this list makes it seem like I can't wear half of what's out there, well — yeah. That's kind of my point.

- Sadie from Jezebel, in part of their Dress Code series

Y'all, this is genius. I'm so much more comfortable ruling things out than in, you know? I'm perpetually in a state of de-cluttering - removing clothes from my closet, knicknacks from my shelves, songs from my iPhone, whatever.

As of right now, I'm ruling out:

  • Any recipe with bell peppers in it. I'm allergic and I sometimes try to make peppery recipes pepperfree, but you know what? That's not how that recipe was developed, and from now on I'm just ruling 'em out cause they're not that good anyway.
  • Related: fajitas.
  • Blazers.
  • Thong underwear.
  • Jeans from Old Navy.
  • Clothing with busy patterns. I don't wear them, they wear me, and no one wins. The clothes WANT to be worn! They do!
  • Buying ingredients without a recipe in mind. Yes, I'll face an empty refrigerator more often, but is that in fact worse than throwing food away because I had nothing to do with it? No. I daresay it's better.

These aren't resolutions, mind you. They're just things I don't have to worry about. Is organic cilantro on sale, two bunches for a dollar? Sure, and awesome! I'm not buying it! Are there really cute thongs at Victoria's Secret with roller skates on them? Of course there are, but they're not for me!

I love this idea - my only concern is that I sometimes have a tendency to overdo things. There's a small chance I might go home and throw out everything I've ruled out... but I'll definitely keep those pictures of Crockett in his Speedo.

something very very scary....

what happens when you leave your boyfriend alone with your Netflix app?