me: I can't believe you're leaving me for four whole days. Crockett: Could you be laying on the guilt any thicker right now?
me: It's not real guilt, it's pretend guilt.
Crockett: Well it feels like real guilt.
me: It's you that's leaving for four days. Would it kill you to say you're going to miss me?
Crockett: I'm going to miss you.
me: I'm not going to miss you. I'm going to have ladies nights and stuff.
Crockett: Oh, ok. I'm not going to miss you either.
me: I can't believe you're leaving me for four whole days.