Colorado. Runner. Yogi. Fucking hilarious, like, 17% of the time.

So many exciting things are happening today, I barely know where to start.

  1. was down this morning. That may actually sound cruddy to you, but in reality it's awesome because it was due to a server overload. Apparently lots of people want to know what kind of shoe I am. That's right, people - I broke the internet. Or at least my very small corner of it. Does the internet have corners? I digress.
  2. I'm using my new slow cooker for the very first time. I'm making a delicious (hopefully) split pea mango dal. I technically have time to cook, but since I almost never do, an entire bowlful of something delicious smelling awaiting me when I get home from work sounds pretty fucking fantastic. It will be like it's 1950 and the slow cooker is my obedient housewife except without the bummer social implications - and probably without the martini. I mean, I'd take it for sure, but I'm pretty sure that none of the buttons on the front said 'martini'. I think I would have noticed.

  3. I signed the release for the boat that Crocket and I are renting with another couple this June. I don't understand why some of the Virgin Islands are British and some are American when they clearly all belong to Richard Branson. Does he have a wife? I'm asking for a friend.

  4. Queen B knows someone who is related to HIT GIRL. Ok fine, Chloe Grace Moretz, but the fact that I know someone who knows someone who shares blood with the admittedly fictional Hit Girl makes me smile (unknown affects on feminist politics and all).

Tuesday, I love you.

Thursday, you can still go fuck yourself.

you guys, I'm dying

are you a shoe?