Last night Star and I were having a very serious discussion about how some of the girls we know from derby have recently become douchecanoes. Since I am a gigantic quitter, I believe that she should quit as well and we should start our own derby league. When we joined RMRG, we were asked questions like 'why do you want to join derby' and 'what can you bring to the league'. Star and I have some way better ideas for useful questions.
1) Do you like dogs?
2) If you were babysitting an infant and someone gave you tickets to the circus for the same night, what would you do?
3) If you were a lollipop, what flavor would you be?
4) Do you like television, and if so, would you skip your favorite show if one of us needed you?
4b) What is your favorite show?
4c) Would you get mad at one of us if we refused to skip our favorite show if you needed us and instead invited you over to watch it with us?
5) Would you answer the phone while having sex (assuming you do that) if one of us called repeatedly?
5b) What if it was really good sex?
5c) What if the one of us calling was pregnant or trying to kick a drug habit?
(Interlude for Star to tell me that I need to put a sticky strip on the back of my iPad so I don't drop it. Which I didn't.)
6) If one of us has a really hilarious failing, do you:
a) make fun of it in public?
b) never mention it?
c) make fun of us behind our backs?
d) mock us constantly to our face but kick anyone else who does?
After we finished, we realized that this quiz would not only be useful for derby tryouts, it would also be useful for life. Starting now, I'm going to make any and all prospective friends take it before I agree to start spending time with them. Start thinking about the circus one now, if you're interested in applying - that one's the sleeper.