Today was my first day of Stockholming myself. If you missed it, it's a mere two posts ago - check it out. The concept is that by looking at and posting pictures of ourselves those of us participating will learn to love ourselves, either through acceptance or change. I want to drive to Arizona and give Temerity Jane a hug for coming up with that idea, because isn't it just perfect? Do you know how hard it is to write a statement that has absolutely no implied judgement? Some of the people involved are trying to get going on an exercise routine, some are trying to realize that they judge themselves far more harshly than others would, and me...
I'm shooting for acceptance. I've written (once) about my eating disorder and I'm not going to link back to that post, because some days it's really hard for me to not delete it, much less actually send people to it. I know that being comfortable with your past is part of being recovered, and you know what? I'm still in recovery. That's ok, it's a stage everyone goes through. Talking about it is a gigantic step forward for me, and TJs project is another.
It's hard, sometimes, to look in a mirror and see what other people see.
I don't want feedback on this one, loves. I don't need reassurance. I need to realize that I am mostly better, and I get closer every day. I need to realize that I am going to be ok.
I don't think that ED recovery is something that TJ had in mind when she started this, but I think it's going to help. As I have mentioned several times, she's a genius.
P.S. This is not a blog about an eating disorder. While I'm sure those exist, I am WAY more than that. For example, I am the queen of the GRE. And? AND? I went to the eye doctor today and ordered new glasses since Maida ate my old ones. I'm basically going to look exactly like this: