Colorado. Runner. Yogi. Fucking hilarious, like, 17% of the time.

In which I hang my head in shame

Star: how is your day going

me: well, I just inadvertantly told a twitter friend that she needed botox. so that was good.

Star: you should be used to the way your foot tastes by now. if youre gonna keep sticking it in your mouth you might want to keep it super clean and pedicured

me: I know. last night at dinner I [brought something up that I will not repeat as it would compound the problem]


me: yeah it was awkward. A big ol pile of awkward


me: yeahyeah I get it


me: you're evil

Star: You really should just write everything down on your ipad and have someone read it and approve it before you are allowed to say it out loud

me: I would be so much less interesting

Star: but way less foot and mouthy

me: I spose

Star: just a thought. but it would be awesome to have a guy in a black suit look at your ipad and then nod yes or no as to if you can say it

me: hmm. that actually WOULD be quite awesome, now that you mention it. as long as it was a guy in a black suit

Star: yeah. and an ear bud and sunglasses. much like a secret service agent

me: An Emma Service Agent

Star: YES. He could also carry stuff for you

me: and be my designated driver

Star: and beat up crockett for breaking up with you via kim in your dreams

me: NICE

Star: I think you should put in a requisition form to super mom for that. in triplicate obviously. and then you are going to have to wait 3-6 weeks for approval. that's assuming there is no red tape

me: and then the interview process will begin

Star: if you need a reference letter I would be happy to provide one for you

me: yes please

Stockholm, Day 9

about damn time