Colorado. Runner. Yogi. Fucking hilarious, like, 17% of the time.

sweet home alabama

I'm confused. And no, it's not just because studying for the (damn) GRE is taking all of my available brain power. It's for many, many reasons.

  1. Why does it make me feel better to talk about all of the different things I could be doing with my life, even though I actually follow through on very few (read: none so far) of them?
  2. Why do I have so many friends whose fathers are doctors?
  3. Why do I love redheaded women and feel at best indifferent about redheaded men?
  4. When you eat a peach, what's the actually process by which that peach helps you grow? If I eat it and I grow, then the new Emma mass must have come from the peach, right? So... at what point does it stop being peach and start being Emma? Or is my elbow still partially made out of peach?
  5. Why does the Old Louisville Inn put green bell peppers in their meatloaf?
  6. Related: Does the ghost at the Old Louisville Inn want to kill me?
  7. Also related: Where did Abner go? (I think he may have left me for Beauty Queen. She is prettier, so I can't really blame him.)
  8. Why are some Atomic Fireballs hot right away and some more stealthy with their heat?
  9. Why does it seems totally reasonable to spend $9 on a martini in a restaurant but $9 for a jar of martini olives at the grocery store seems like highway robbery?
  10. Why are new clothes always prettier than old clothes?

Really. If you have the answers to any of these questions, please let me know. I'm driving myself nuts today.

P.S. Except #4. I'm pretty sure that even House couldn't explain that one to me.

my people are already on it

my perfect day