Let's pretend we're having a real conversation instead of the kind we normally have where I talk a bunch and sometimes you comment and sometimes you just send me happy thoughts, ok? I'll do your part though, since it's a conversation I've had a lot of times and I can pretty much predict what you're going to say.
You: Emma, have you seen The Hurt Locker/Crash/The Curious Case of Benjamin Button? Me: Nope. You: Oh, you totally have to! It's so good!! Me: Not going to happen. You:.... because you hate things that are good? Me: Yes. But also because I hate movies where bad and sad things happen. You: But you love horror movies? Me: Obviously. You: Ah ha! I have found the flaw in your usually impeccable logic! Me: Oh, really? What's that? You: Bad things happen in horror movies ALL THE TIME. Horror movies are just basically an excuse to put bad things on film! And yet you enjoy them! So you enjoy seeing bad things happen in movies! Me: Were all of those exclamation points really necessary, you? You: Yes. Me: Really long explanation about how horror movies are an affirmation of the human will to survive and blah blah blah they are full of strong women etc etc. I've written about the strong women part before. You: If I tell you I understand, will you shut up? Me: On this topic or in general? You: This topic. Me: Yep. You: I understand. It makes perfect sense. Also, have I mentioned how pretty you look today? Me: Several times, but I never tire of hearing it.
Let this be a lesson to you. STOP ASKING. I love horror movies. You know who the good guys are, who the bad guys are, and who you can probably pin your heart to without risking it getting broken. I will watch them if I want. And I'm not going to watch your depressing flick about post-war something something. BUT (unless you're Crockett), I won't make you watch my movies either. Deal?