I promise this is my last post of the day, but I am CRACKING myself up over here. You're going to have to use your imagination in the italicized sections, because I don't have enough time right now to change identifying details and I want you to see how freaking funny I just was on IM with the boy.
the boy: Franklin* (not his real name) did something really stupid.
emma: Oh Franklin.
If you could see me you'd know I was shaking my head in a disappointed way while I said that. like he'd just stolen a pie from my windowsill.
the boy: oh, and he did something that's even stupider and also that affects me in a very negative way.
emma: WHY? did you ask him?
the boy: no, I did not ask him
Now picture me wagging my finger like he just cursed in church.
the boy: I'm picturing you administering a swift scrotum kick
emma: that's for the NEXT time I have to scold him. you have to escalate appropriately. you can't just go around kicking men in the scrotum. a girl could go to jail. but if I could explain that I shook my head AND wagged my finger first, no jury in the world would convict me.
the boy: agreed
Hhahhahhaahhhhahaha. No jury in the world.