Colorado. Runner. Yogi. Fucking hilarious, like, 17% of the time.

it's like Dennis the Menace lives down the street

I promise this is my last post of the day, but I am CRACKING myself up over here. You're going to have to use your imagination in the italicized sections, because I don't have enough time right now to change identifying details and I want you to see how freaking funny I just was on IM with the boy.

the boy: Franklin* (not his real name) did something really stupid.

emma: Oh Franklin.

If you could see me you'd know I was shaking my head in a disappointed way while I said that. like he'd just stolen a pie from my windowsill.

the boy: oh, and he did something that's even stupider and also that affects me in a very negative way.

emma: WHY? did you ask him?

the boy: no, I did not ask him

emma: Franklin!

Now picture me wagging my finger like he just cursed in church.

the boy: I'm picturing you administering a swift scrotum kick

emma: that's for the NEXT time I have to scold him. you have to escalate appropriately. you can't just go around kicking men in the scrotum. a girl could go to jail. but if I could explain that I shook my head AND wagged my finger first, no jury in the world would convict me.

the boy: agreed

Hhahhahhaahhhhahaha. No jury in the world.

sweet thing

only seven miles from the sun