Colorado. Runner. Yogi. Fucking hilarious, like, 17% of the time.

the tiniest sprinter gets and loses a girlfriend

me: i forgot to tell you something funny there is a girl on my derby team named nicolette

and when i met her someone said she should marry my brother

and i said that i'd introduce you

but she'd have to steal you from your girlfriend

and that you were 25

and she's like 32

and we decided that you were dating but then the age difference and the girlfriend thing were just too hard

and you had to break up

and then i took her picture

so you could see your ex girlfriend that you never met

and she said to tell you it was the best 30 second long distance relationship of her life

Sam: excellent

me: sending it now

Sam: we would have dark haired children with excellent cheekbones

me: that you would

odds and ends held together with safety pins

the beautiful people