Colorado. Runner. Yogi. Fucking hilarious, like, 17% of the time.

I would ride the darkest horse, that's the horse I'd ride

An except from the business lunch I just left. My boss: Emma is such a geek.

My coworker: What? Emma got engaged? When??

Me:.. what?

Coworker: Boss just said you got engaged.

Me: No, he said I'm a geek. Your ears are broken. If I was engaged I certainly would have said something.

Boss: Not with that ring you wouldn't. (looking pointedly at my empty ring finger)

Me: I don't believe in engagement rings.

All: (Blank stares)

Coworker: Why, because of the diamonds?

Me: Well, that and the fact that when women started wearing them early last century it was because they were expected to keep their virtue until marriage, and when they got engaged it was assumed that virtue had been lost (this was me trying to avoid saying 'virginity' to my coworkers). The ring was so that if the guy bailed she'd have something to get her through spinsterhood. If men wore them as well it would be different.

Boss: I bought my wife's engagement ring at Tiffanys.

Me: I'm not sure you understood the point I just made.

Boss: I told her giving it to her was like buying options in a farm.

Me: .... so, how's your sushi?

At least I didn't say anything about asking for fatherly permission.

more firepower

am I dimmer every day