Colorado. Runner. Yogi. Fucking hilarious, like, 17% of the time.

my feelings are hurt

Last night I was out with the boy, Shovonda, and her hubby. It turns out that Shovonda NEVER calls into radio shows because she never wins (which of course could not be because she never calls in). Except yesterday, she did call in. And she did win. Which means that her calling in to winning ratio is 100%. Awesomely enough, though, I won without calling in, because she's taking me with her! Where, you ask?

To see the famous and side splittingly funny Kathy Griffin!

Turns out that it's actually a Girls Night Out contest sponsored by Alice 105.9. I went to their website to see if I could find more details. I couldn't, but what I did see what this advertisement about being an egg donor:

I am of the age where my girlfriends are mostly deep in baby mode. As would be the case with any group of women, not every one of them is having an easy time with it. I would imagine that a problem like that will just get more frequent as we get older. This little ad tugged my heartstrings just a tad - I mean, wouldn't helping someone have a baby be cool? Yes, of course there would be a lot to think about (a little Emma running around who wasn't mine, for example), but it would definitely be a sweet thing to do.

Plus they pay you $5000.

So I went to the website, and read the little blurbs and success stories, and thought... well, what would it hurt to fill out the introduction form? They asked normal questions like my age and if I had a family history of cancer, things like that. I answered yes where you'd think yes would be the right answer, I filled in my rather-impressive-if-I-do-say-so-myself SAT score, and I answered no where you'd think no would be the right answer. All truthfully. Honestly I was sort of thinking that they'd be psyched - I'm all healthy and cute and smart and stuff! Ah hubris - how quickly I was brought down.

About an hour after I submitted the questionnaire, I received this response.

Based on the height requirements of our recipients and you being under 5'2, we would not have a suitable match. Therefore, we cannot proceed with your application. Thank you for your interest.

Well hmph. Now my feelings are hurt and I'm feeling discriminated against. If I were in need of an egg donor I would be pissed that all the available eggs were from tall women - I want my daughter, should I have one, to be short and awesome, like me.

I wonder how tall Kathy Griffin is.

An Open Letter to Oprah

bring up your seat back please, she says