Colorado. Runner. Yogi. Fucking hilarious, like, 17% of the time.

I'm the verbal Herman Munster

Portland quotes so far, courtesy of Paige, Sam, the DB, and myself. 'I don't think dermoid cysts can have eyes.' Paige.

'Absorbed twins are the best kind of twins. If I had an absorbed twin I'd go through the rest of my life feeling like I won. ' Sam.

'That rap was ill-oquent.' Sam, talking about Cash Money Millionaires.

'I thought she was a man when I was a kid.' Paige. Dunno.

'Your name must be dang cause that's what someone said when they saw your momma.' The DB, talking about someone Paige knows named Dang.

'We gotta go back to the horse tranquilizer idea.' (The DB, referring to a coworker after receiving an email).

'We should make this place into a foam party...but only six inches, otherwise Louis will drown.' Um...dunno.

Paige: 'it's 9:07'. Sam: 'thanks. Are you going to tell me when it's 9:08 as well?' Paige: 'no because you'll be dead by then.'. Discussion after Sam asked what time it was, I told him, then Paige told him again.

'Dude it's be so awesome to be a criminal and also be able to sing really good.' Sam on operatic bad guy in Goonies.

'Put jelly and chocolate chips in if and then try it. Get back to me.' Sam on oatmeal.

'You guys, he broke me.' Me after the DB whacked my ankle into a table.

The DB: 'It's like that old saying. Give a man a fire... something something. Light a man on fire, keep him warm for the rest of his life.' Me: 'You said that just to get in the blog, huh.'

'Everyone needs a gadgety best friend who's shoes squirt oil.' Me.

'How is your head getting closer to me?' The DB. Not talking to me.

'Ow.' Sam, when Paige climbed into the rocking chair under which he was reclining.

he is a foreign man

You would think my love was really something good