Colorado. Runner. Yogi. Fucking hilarious, like, 17% of the time.

cause words, like girls, get bored and run

Just to be clear, I am NOT advertisting this. I'm asking what the fuck this is. Seriously, what the fuck kind of service to they provide? I'm too much of a pansy to click on the link and find out, but I started googling things like 'cheat on your wife' (because you know, that's better than clicking a link) and discovered the Alibi Network.  Some of the services offered by the Alibi Network?

  • Do you need us to make a phone call, but want the phone call to appear from Paris? With the Paris number showing up on the caller id of the intended party?
  • Are you in Dubai, but telling your partner you are in Tokyo? Would you like to have us assign a Tokyo number to you, receive the phone call on your behalf and forward it to your number in Dubai?
  • Do you want to create an impression that you are staying in a certain hotel anywhere in the world? Complete with the 24 hr hotel receptionist answering in the accent of your choice and confirming your stay?
  • Do you want to create an impression that you are flying by a certain airline on a certain date anywhere in the World?

I'm just mildly disgusted that there appears to be an entire cottage industry around lying and cheating. I'm not actually coming out against adultery - I know, big statement. I personally just file it under 'individual choice' and move on with my life. However, be cool enough to take care of it yourself, adulterous person. How lazy can you be, really? I especially disapprove of how the services offered are all in 'ooo Paris, ooo Dubai'. In reality, they likely end up showing the Columbus Westin's number when the call is really originating from the Columbus Super 8.  

I'm in a wonderful mood today, in case that isn't coming across. I got about five hours of sleep, my work computer is broken due to my complete clumsiness, and I've had too much coffee. I'll cheer up in a bit and write about the awesomeness of getting to write your own letter of recommendation.  For now, I leave you with this thought: 'stupid freaking adulterers can't create thier own stupid freaking alibis mutter mutter'.

armed with this small butterfly net only

just to have you as my very own personal venus