Colorado. Runner. Yogi. Fucking hilarious, like, 17% of the time.

tell us what we did wrong and you can blame us for it

Apparently it's all downhill from here.  According to the University of Virginia, cognitive function starts to decline at 27. I'm so looking forward to old age, I can't even tell you. I fully intend to be an incredible old lady.  People don't expect a lot from old women, at least not anymore - which is damn silly if you ask me.  I will

  • walk marathons
  • shoplift (and blame it on memory loss if I get busted)
  • get cute young men to accompany me across the street and possibly get in a lil ass grabbin
  • wear velour jogging suits in easter egg colors
  • teach my grandchildren to make croissants and shortcake, not just chocolate chip cookies
  • be proudly gray
  • tell everyone exactly what I think, all the time
  • read at library story time and do the awesome voices
  • have the scariest house on the block at halloween - you know, the one that kids dare each other to go to


  • join a church choir to belt gospels in my white old lady voice
  • sit on the porch with in rocking chairs with my husband
  • audition for movies - I can't imagine there are enough old ladies in hollywood. seriously
  • have all my teeth

Yep. That'll be me. At 40, apparently, since the whole process has already started.

the crown of love

Now you ask, did she get that girl back?