Colorado. Runner. Yogi. Fucking hilarious, like, 17% of the time.

Sunday Best

My birthday was a fantastic success, and there is more to come. Indoor skydiving is most definitely.... a skill-requiring pursuit. Skills that I don't have. And I have to wonder, how much of the grabbing the instructor did was absolutely necessary to keep me from running into the walls? Anyway, there is much to be thrilled about this week. First, birthday. Second, for my birthday, I adopted myself a puppy! Her name is Maida (my choice, after Maida Heatter the pastry chef) and she looks like this:

maida-in-laundry

 

However, that is not the topic of this post. The best thing of this week, the week of January 11th, 2009, is this.

NATALIE DYLAN AUCTIONED HER VIRGINITY FOR 3.7 MILLION DOLLARS

Three. Point. Seven. Million. Dollars.  Trust me, that is not a typo. I checked at several different reputable sources, and it's true. She's pretty in kind of a trashy way, but maybe that's the way she had to go for the whole auction thing. Witness:

 

Bent over showing off the boobs

 

Wind blowing back the hair. Classic.

 

Clearly used to be her myspace profile pic (before myspace was SO over). Also, note the difference in color between face and chest.

It's definitely possible that she's just a normal chick who is capitalizing on being a member of true love waits or what have you. I'm having a hard time with it though. I'm wondering if there's any possibility there's an artificial virginity hymen involved.  

I admire her entrepreneurial spirit. I do have several questions.

1) What kind of pro0f of virginity is the winning bidder requiring? Not to be overly graphic, but any woman can tell you that tampons and revirgination have sorta blown the whole traditional gauge of prior sexual experience.

2) WHO pays that much money to sleep with a virgin? I mean, virgins have.... performance issues. Not the same ones for men and women, obviously, but none the less, they're not really known for their participation and skill.  The guy has to be fairly ridiculous. Either he's an incredibly creepy guy who thinks 22 year old virgins are the holy grail of sexual conquest, or he's an incredibly creepy guy who can't find a hooker who is willing to have sex with him. Either way, I'm a little concerned for Natalie.

3) Why, oh why, did I think it was a good idea to sleep with Jesse in high school? Blah blah blah I loved him blah blah blah. 4M dollars sorta makes that pale in comparision. However, this may only work once (market dilution) AND see question 2. Probably Jesse was the right way to go.

speaking of skinny love

Come on skinny love, what happened here?