Colorado. Runner. Yogi. Fucking hilarious, like, 17% of the time.

Thoughts while watching S.W.A.T.

Thursday, August 30, 2007

1) I love this girl.... what's her name... the Girl Fight girl.  Why on earth would she sleep with Colin Farrell? I mean, she hasn't yet, but you can tell she will, and everyone knows he's a whore.  

2) Nobody cares if the boring white Lothario guy gets shot.  He got shot with a paint gun, but smart money is on him getting shot for real later in the game.  There was some definite foreshadowing.  Plus, he just had to take a poorly timed bathroom break due to nerves.  If that's not an indication of impending doom, I don't know what is.

3) Why did I make so much pasta salad?!? It's a commercial break, and I'm eating this (delicious) ricotta pasta salad for the FOURTH MEAL in a row.  Did it not occur to me when I dumped an entire bag of organic whole wheat penne into the water that I'm kind of little and would be eating pasta for a week? 

4) What kind of international criminal mastermind comes to one of the twelve countries which holds a warrant for his arrest?  Especially if that country is America?  Dude - have you read the news lately? We can do anything we want. Fuckin' A, we're gonna sent the SWAT team after you..

5) I do not speak in code enough.  Checkpoint 2, roger that, code 74, etc.  I wonder if I develop one and publish it if people will start using it.  Code 1 means please pour me another glass of this delicious 2004 Bordeaux I happen to be drinking.  Cloey - code 1.  Hmm... didn't work.

6) Boring white Lothario just got shot, much to my NON surprise.  However, he was shot while hijacking the 100 million dollar prisoner.  Way to grow some balls  boring guy!

7) "What are they going to do, take the subway all the way to Mexico?"

8)  Commercials suck.  Please see my previous Netflix post.  I wonder if I can link to it. Let's  try.

9) Maybe I'm not paying close enough attention... why are there booby traps in the sewers?

10) The Killers are playing at the Fox on Monday! Katie is going to try and get tickets!  See what commercials do? They distract me from the purpose of my blog! 

11) Can you land an airplane on the 6th St Bridge? It seems like there would be wires and stuff in the way. 

12) Step one: plan a hundred million dollar hijacking.  Step two: realize that your ex-partner (cop wise, not same sex couple wise) is on the SWAT team that will be your primary opposition.  Step three: quit!!! Ok, you didn't quit?  Then... Step three: engage in hand to hand combat with aforementioned ex-partner and lose, only to get run over by a train.  Anyone could have seen that coming.

Last night I dreamt I went to Manderley again

Buckle up ladies, it's going to be a bumpy ride