Colorado. Runner. Yogi. Fucking hilarious, like, 17% of the time.

Excuse me, is this 2%?

*This post is part of a 'blog off' between my brother and I. Why, you ask? He said "Em, post a new blog already". I said "about what". He said "I'm writing about coffee". And the blog off was born. He posted the link to this site at the top of his, but you're going to have to read to the bottom of mine before I let you make that jump. Sorry, dems the breaks.


There are many things to be said for working at a small company.  At my last job, I could indentify 9 out of 10 people by name. I’m not implying that small companies are better, of course – I have made the jump to a big ship (is that a viable metaphor?). My new employer is public vs. private, 25 times the size, and has regular layoffs.  But there is one way that my new place beats the old one, hands down, no holds barred.

Ready? Two words: onsite Starbucks. Two of them, actually.

I know some people hate Starbucks. I have no idea what their problem is. I think they relate it to hating Walmart, but Starbucks is not the Walmart of coffee. Starbucks is the Target of coffee. And everyone loves Target – therefore, people who hate Starbucks are stupid. I know, that’s saying a lot, but if they’re entitled to their opinion I’m entitled to mine.

That being said, here are some things that I’ve learned when I have a Starbucks available to meet my every whim.

1)      People order drinks that are like them. Like, you know how people say that after a while you start to look like your dog? This afternoon I popped down for an afternoon beverage with two new friends. One, who could not put down his blackberry or focus on the conversation, ordered a small drip with a shot of espresso. The other, who is tall and laid back and spends as far as I can tell roughly half his day on Facebook (yeah I know, how would I know if I weren’t there too), ordered a tall chai.

It’s possible that I’m reading too much into this, of course, but there are other examples. A woman who clearly loves both her jewelry and her carbohydrates is ordering a large caramel vanilla latte with whipped cream every time I see her.  An intern I know gets a large drip and pours in a ‘jakfruit powershot’ that is sold on the counter, and every time I see him he’s pointing a gun finger at someone like he’s a 70s swinger.

Anyway, I’m pretty sure this is actually a very good indicator of personality. It will only work on people who have easy access to a coffee shop though, so it’s not for beginners or occasional caffeinators – consider yourself warned.


2)      Coffee is now what smoking used to be. We use it to bond, to take much needed breaks, and to feed an addiction. Although you never know, Snus might be huge.


3)      There is a very clear line between enough coffee and too much coffee.  That line is somewhere between throwing together a kickass powerpoint in a half hour, and blabbing endlessly at double speed about what you did last weekend to anyone who will listen.


4)      There are people who seriously do not drink coffee, but apparently not a single one of them works here. Look at the graph - in my age group, less than half of us drink coffee. What? Is it possible that NONE of those people work here?


5) I drink too much coffee.


Now that you've read my thoughts on coffee, why don't you go check out what the tiniest sprinter has to say?

Sunday Best

Oh oh, I really wanted that thing