Colorado. Runner. Yogi. Fucking hilarious, like, 17% of the time.

conspiring against you

Scene: reading/video game time the other night

Characters: me and Crockett

me: I have a question that's going to require some thought, so don't feel like you have to answer right away
Crockett: ok
me: what conspiracy theory, if you found out it was actually true, would you find absolutely the most surprising?
C: ...
me: like, if I heard the Illuminati were real, I'd think 'huh, didn't really see that coming but ok'
C: ...
me: if the moon landing was faked, I'd be impressed with the organization required to pull it off. And surprised, of course, but not the MOST surprised I could be
C:  mole people?
me: that's a real thing
C: it's definitely not
me: ok, my real one is lizard people. If it turned out that there were giant lizards dressed as people and they were, like, infiltrating government. That's the one I would be the very most surprised by
C: ... (never actually answers, leading me to conclude he believes in all the conspiracies already)

I've since realized that I forgot about the flat Earth thing, and if that were true I might actually be more surprised. Lizard people would be a close second, though.

consider the situation handled

the doorknob